Circle of Life

 Each of us has a different life circle. Some are in the best circle of life and some are in the worst circle of life. We cannot determine in which circle of life we are born. The fact that must be accepted is that everything depends on ourselves. Is that true?. Is my current life cycle causing me to have mental health problems ?. Does the community in my life circle understand the problems I am facing right now ?.

I now live in a small town, in Kelantan. From my childhood until now, I have been exposed to a lot of very unhealthy life cycle. I don't want to find fault with anyone, just share my feelings, how the circle of life that I am in makes my morale not strong. The youth involved in drug addiction is one of the elements that exist in this life cycle. From my childhood to adulthood, there were only those I knew who were involved with drug addiction and died because of drugs.

Some people are successful in life because the difficulties of the life cycle initially drive success to form another life cycle. It's just my bad luck, causing me to get stuck out of this circle of life. Everyone just knows how to speak like a successful person but the fact of the matter is that there is no fixed goal in life.

I don’t want to blame my own destiny, just feel sad with myself for not being able to get out of this circle of life and form a new circle of life that is better like everyone else. I am now 40, at this age, many my age, live in a much better life circle. In fact, I have to get out of the circle of life now, however I have to take care of my mother at the same time. Caused me to have to make such heavy sacrifices in my own opinion.

If your life cycle or anyone else’s is not as expected, that means you or anyone else should get out of that life cycle. Indeed, people outside the existing circle of life value you more than those inside the circle of life. That's what I felt and experienced myself, when I was in Putrajaya, I met many people who gave me a positive aura than I am in the village now. It gave me such a negative aura that my mental health problems became more and more disturbed. Outsiders can say anything, but only I know what I’ve felt all this time.

Is there still hope for me to live in a better life circle before death ?. I'm not ungrateful, I'm just expressing sympathy for myself. Those who are the same age, live a more meaningful life than myself. Have your own family, wife and children to accompany before dying alone in the grave later.

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