Secret of Marriage

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 When talked about mates. it is a very sensitive topic in the community, especially for the Malays. The topic has been sensitive from the past until now. Usually parents will start to worry if their daughter has not met a partner yet and at the same time their daughter is getting older.

Women or men who grow up to the age of 30, still single will cause discomfort to their parents. This is due to the cultural customs of the Malays who will marry before the age of 30 years. My own aunt married at the age of 18, so it is not surprising that the issue of late marriage is still being debated by a group of parents.

My brother and I are one example, a man who is still unmarried even though we are approaching the age of 40. We are lucky because our father and mother, never pressured us to find a wife, even though the people around us kept asking why we were still unmarried. One of Malay culture that still exists until now and it gives discomfort.

Many members of the society around us are trying to find a wife for us, including our own aunt. In fact, every time we meet, my aunt will ask when we or my brother will get married. One reason is that my aunt wants to marry my brother to her own nephew. The fact is that the current generation of thinking is very different from previous generations thought. We are not worried if we are still unmarried because it is not something that burdens us.

Among the Malays, there is still a culture that matches couples who are basically strangers to each other. It is done through their parents, usually parents who have daughters will find parents who have sons who are also unmarried. Then each of them will try to match if their children agree with their parents' choice.

This unifying culture, if referring to the past, many couples are united without knowing in advance but happy until now. The question is whether it is still relevant for the current generation ?. At this time, divorce is very easy to happen and even the number of cases is increasing compared to the past.

I share about mates because it feels strange why people are still thinking too much about it. To me, every human being has his destiny set. Just have to go through it with patience and sincerity. Upon hearing the complaint of a mother who is worried her daughter has not married again despite mounting age, we humans have to believe that Allah SWT knows what is best for us all.

Are cultures of other races like the Malays when it comes late marriage ?. I want to get married but I do not have a mate and the ability to get married. Therefore, I often tell my mother, do not worry about a mate for me or my brother because if destiny determines we will get married, then my mother will get daughter-in-law.

My junior while at the University, some of them are unmarried, some have even become widows. Why is this happening ?, so we cannot be sure that what is planned is sure to come true. One of the mother's siblings, at this time is busy wanting to match the child to her friend to the unmarried nephews. An attitude that is actually not liked by his nephews.

My mother often told me that if destiny determined I had no mate in the world, maybe my mate would be in heaven later. The main thing that plays in my mind now is just to move on to a life that is in fact full of mystery. Since we do not know what awaits us later.

Parents should not be pressuring their children, if they are still unmarried. Instead, give support to whatever they do because that is what a child needs most. As Muslims, we should always pray that Allah SWT makes everything easier, including a mate.


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